Being Single is Not Equal to Being Sad

‘Pasko na naman ngunit wala ka pa. Hanggang kalian kaya ako maghihintay sa iyo?’ (It’s Christmastime once again but you are not yet here. Until when will I be waiting for you?)

That song becomes the theme song of singles this season. There should be no harm. But the problem comes when they feel sad. And after singing that song, they feel sadder and turn emotional. At its worst, they go to what I call ‘addicted to sadness’ (to be discussed in another article).

I have seen this happen. I have observed it and I have felt it. I know when I see it because I myself have experienced it.

I have been single for years! And that season of being single is divided into two: the sad season and the sweet season.

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During the sad season, the song above had been my theme song. And while singing that song, I would feel high yet sad at the same time. There is the feeling of loneliness but there seems to be comfort in singing that song but instead of being inspired and lifted up, there comes feeling low and feeling pity.  Then those sad singles come together, sing the song together, and feel pity together. Misery loves company as they say.

The season of being single shouldn’t be that way. There is another way – a better way.

I searched for something different. I knew singles shouldn’t be sad. Being single is simply a season of life that everyone has to go through. And it is not meant to be sad. It should and can be enjoyable and productive.

The sad season was sealed closed when I attended the Singles Stream of Bo Sanchez’s Kerygma Conference in 2011. In that conference, my new perspective and belief about being single was validated. At that moment, I felt liberated from the prison of sadness. I embraced the sweetness of the season of being single. The darkness of such mistaken phase of sadness was diffused. Light was shining all over.

I received these messages:

“If you are not happy as a single person, you will not be happy as a married person or a person in a relationship.”

“If you are not happy as a single person, you will become a vampire to your partner. You will suck out all the energy, joy and love in the other person and in the relationship. The relationship will end in no time. You don’t want that to happen. So be happy – today!”

“A relationship is joyful because two happy people come together not because they need each other to be happy but because they choose to be together to serve God, each other and other people.”

These are just some of the liberating lessons I had that day. I am sharing them with you that they may liberate you from the prison of sadness.

Your season of being single is meant to be enjoyed. It is actually a peak season when you can do a lot of things to grow in the different areas of your life. This season can be fun and fruitful. This season must be holy and happy!

So instead of feeling sad and lonely as a single (especially this Christmas season), I urge you to get excited of what you can do as a single person! Receive the joy and love from your Creator. Know yourself more. Perform more. Meet people. Explore the world. Get promoted. Open businesses. Volunteer. Serve. Love God. Love yourself more!

 

Live your life, young mind!

Chris Dao-anis

(Chris Dao-anis, CPA, DTM is a trainer and speaker on public speaking and leadership. His latest book ‘Living Large in the Little Things’ is available at Mt. Cloud Bookshop, Casa Vallejo, Upper Session Road, Baguio City. For talks and trainings, email him at chrisdaoanis@gmail.com or visit his website at www.chrispoweracademy.com.)

Categories Personal Leadership

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